Wait for the rain
by Thecricketsarecalling
Summary: Pam and Ryan start a life together and hope nothing can ruin it.
1. Chapter 1

"Dunder Mifflin, this is Erin."

Pam sat on the tiny couch flipping through a magazine and trying to kill time before Ryan was finished making a big sales pitch with Michael. Eyeing Erin, she happily sighed to herself remembering how she spent nearly ten whole years at that same exact desk wasting her life away.

A few feet away were Jim and Karen. The two were near Jim's desk and laughing over something stupid Dwight had just done. Suspiring enough, Pam hadn't paid much attention but couldn't help but feel happy for them. Just a little over a year ago they had become engaged. Thinking back on their history, Pam knew in her heart that Jim and her were just meant to be friends.

She couldn't believe she was back here, in fact ever since Ryan had started visiting Scranton from the city, she felt as if she was in some sort of weird dream. This was the dull boning depressing lifestyle she had lived for so long.

Now…

She looked at her sparking ring on her finger and smiled.

Just then the front door to the office swung open and Ryan came smartly in dressed in his black suit and slicked back hair. Ever since his promotion to New York his sense of style along with his personally had changed. From going to being just a shy temp with shaggy hair and always dressed In navy blue shirts, to working in the city, sporting a constant five o'clock shadow, and dressing in silk blues and red wines in his expensive suits. Pam didn't seem to mind though…seeing that they had just married over a year or so now.

Pam seemed half surprised seeing him walk through the front door talking to her on his blackberry. Looking at her, he pressed a button and turned his cell off before walking over to her, his eyes outraged and his face flushed. Pam usually now knew whenever something was bothering him.

"What is it?"

She asked putting the magazine down and looking up at his intense blue eyes. The smell of cologne right away filled the air as he stared down at her and took a second to get himself together. In the background Pam noticed for just a second that Jim and Karen were listening.

"I just got off the phone with that daycare; they said there's a problem."

Right away panic leaped into Pam's throat.

"Problem, what kind of problem?"

"They said Teagan was choking earlier but it turned out to just be a cough after he ate, now their saying he bumped his head when they were trying to put him down for his nap."

"What?"

"I'm going down there right now and I told them I'm calling my lawyer, I told you that wasn't a good place Pam, Jesus!"

Pam was too worked up to even notice the glances they were getting from around the office.

"I'm going now, you coming?"

Pam quickly nodded and weakly smiled at everyone who was watching as she stood up getting her stuff together. Right away Ryan's hand was in hers and began to lead towards the door. Heading straight to the elevator, Pam felt her stomach begin to twist in knots. Ryan's hand was squeezing to hard, which usually meant he was nervous about something. Hitting the button to the lobby, Ryan's face began to look flushed, as he glared ahead.

"You think he's okay?"

"He better be."

Ryan snapped, Pam quickly looked down at her shoes before Ryan's hand relaxed and he deeply sighed.

"I'm sorry I snapped…I'm just worried. There's a lot going on and I knew that place wasn't that great and…"

Pam looked at him, holding back tears.

"I'm s-sorry…I just…"

Ryan quickly shook his head.

"No, don't be sorry, it's just those fucking idiots at that daycare…"

Pam knew what he was really thinking and sniffled in and decided that things would just get worse if she got upset. Lately, ever since Ryan got promoted she noticed his temper. Something he would never show her of course, whenever they were together he was sweet and protective, he usually only showed this to Michael whenever he came to Scranton which was three times a week or after he had a stressful day.

And of course when it came to the baby.

Getting into the elevator, Ryan's hand began to gently rub Pam's back.

_**January 2007**_

Pam sat behind her desk looking at her computer. A sad smile was on her face as she stared at the drawing she had done which won the contest. She knew it wasn't a big deal, that just a bunch of 6th graders had chosen her and one-hundred dollars really wasn't anything…

But after the past couple of months she had, this truly made her happy.

She was sad though, there wasn't anyone to share her happiness nor seemed interested.

Just then Ryan came behind her desk to use the fax machine, after being a temp for nearly two years he pretty much knew the whole copier, fax, and printer system like the back of his hand…just like Pam.

"What's that?"

"Hum?"

Pam saw that Ryan had some papers in his hand and was looking over his shoulder at the computer screen. A little embarrassed, Pam smiled.

"Just a drawing I did…I just found out it won a contest today."

"Really? Oh my God that's awesome!"

Pam was slightly surprised at how excited Ryan's voice sounded. Leaning closer, Ryan pointed to the screen.

"That's really nice, you sketch and paint it?"

"Yeah, I used water colors…"

"That's really cool Pam, that's great."

"Thanks Ryan…"

Pam smiled as Ryan grinned at her and walked back to his desk. Feeling a little good about herself, she smiled and couldn't believe the reaction she got. The entire day nobody had really seemed to care, but Ryan made her really feel good about what she did. Glancing over she saw Ryan sit down and for the first time ever…

Noticed he was kinda cute.

_**Present**_

Ryan and Pam both walked through the two glass doors which were covered in painted handprints. It was the daycare which was a couple of miles from Dunder Mifflin. Whenever Ryan had to visit Scranton which was three times every month, Pam and Teagan would come along and they would stay at Pam's parent's overnight. At first Pam didn't think traveling back and forth like this would work, mostly with the baby, for the first few months Ryan agreed with her but then began getting more and more nervous leaving Pam and the baby alone in the city while he was gone.

Not wanting Ryan to travel back and forth and drive at night she proposed the idea that once Teagan was a few months old she would drive with him and they could stay overnight if it made him feel better.

They had been doing this for the last several months. Teagan believe it or not was an angel driving for such a long distance, most of the time he just slept in his car seat.

Visiting Scranton at first seemed a little scary, but the truth was Pam understood where Ryan was coming from and ever since Ryan got down on one knee and proposed after they found out she was pregnant she knew she truly loved him and didn't want to be away from him. Life honestly had spun out of control ever since the night of Phyllis' wedding, but she liked the fact she had broken away from her depressing lifestyle…always wondering if rejecting Jim had been a mistake.

Since Pam's parents both still worked, Pam didn't honestly like the idea of bringing the baby into the office ever day. Mostly because of germs, and the fact Michael, Dwight, and Creed always seemed to make her extra nervous whenever they held him.

On top of it, Kelly who still was bitter over what happened between Ryan and Pam often made rude comments whenever they came in. The last time was when Pam was sitting in the break room feeding Teagan his bottle when Kelly came in smirking.

"You know, if you don't breast feed him he's gonna get fat…in fact I bet he'll get fat look at his arms and legs all ready."

Just then Ryan was behind her in the doorway glaring at her.

"It's called baby fat Kelly, and he has it because he's healthy…sorry we don't starve our child to look good."

Kelly's eyes right away dropped and she rushed to the ladies room to cry.

Pam knew it wasn't such a good idea after that.

She usually stayed at her parent's home with the baby during the day as much as she missed Ryan, but understood if she could do it nearly every day back in the city she could do it for a few visits here. Besides, she loved being home with the baby. Often she would just dress him up in the millions of tiny outfits she bring with her and take photos and send them to Ryan on her phone. She loved being a mother, most of all with Teagan. Somehow looking back at how terrified she was of being a mother during the pregnancy now all seemed so silly.

But she did want Teagan to have structure since back in the city the two days out of the week that she went to her art classes she had him in one of the highest expense daycares in the city. Ryan and her had searched high and low for this place and the waiting list had been for nearly six months.

There she knew the baby was taken care of by the best of the best, and from the looks of it the daycare was beginning to rub off. Just the other day Pam was laying in the apartment with Teagan and watched him point to the blue rubber blocks he had when she asked him what color the ocean and fishes were. Even though Teagan could barley talk yet, she thought this was amazing and showed Ryan the second he walked through the door.

So while they were in Scranton Pam had found the best daycare possible a couple of miles from Dunder Mifflin. At first Ryan hated the idea, saying anything from Scranton was trashy and that he didn't trust these people. Smiling, Pam cupped his stubble covered face and kissed him telling him to relax and quit being such a yuppy.

The daycare seemed to be working out just fine, by the time they picked the baby up he had been fed and was ready to sleep through the night. They would bring him back, put his down for the night and usually stay up a few hours sharing a bottle of wine while Ryan vented about how much he hated the Scranton branch.

But now Pam felt like a complete idiot. Walking hand in hand with him they entered the lobby in which the A.C was on full blast. Ryan right away headed towards the front desk where a woman was answering phones.

"Excuse me, where is Teagan Howard?"

The woman looked up before telling the person on the other line to hold. Placing the phone down she faked a smile up at him.

"What's the name?"

"Teagan Howard, he's my son and…"

Pam stepped in after hearing Ryan's voice raise three pitches.

"He's in the Butterfly room, we received a call saying there was a problem…"

The woman's eyes lit up.

"Oh Mr. and Mrs. Howard, I'm sorry…just hold on a moment and I'll call upstairs to Sally the director."

Pam and Ryan watched as the girl pressed a few buttons on her phone and waited.

"Hello Sally…yes, Mr. and Mrs. Howard are here…yep, I will…thanks."

Hanging the phone up she smiled at them.

"Sally is on her way down, if you would like to take a seat…"

"No we don't want to take a seat! Where is my son?"

Ryan snapped, even making Pam jump up slightly. Looking at him she suddenly understood that he wasn't angry…he was scared.

_**February 2007**_

"I HATE YOU!"

Pam jumped at the sound of shattering glass as she sat outside in the garden at Phyllis' reception.

Faintly hearing yet another Police song, she sat there with her heels in her hand and suddenly felt very depressed.

She was alone.

Roy all night had been trying to be friendly, and Jim and Karen were happily dancing while she looked around and knew how close she had gotten trapped into a wasteful unhappy life.

But then again, what was she living now?

The sound made her look over further down the pathway, surprisingly enough for a winter night it had really warmed up and she heard crickets in the bushes somewhere. Sitting forward on the bench, she saw Kelly standing in her white dress and yelling at Ryan who was cupping his left hand with his right now.

"Jesus Kelly!"

Pam saw shattered glass on the pavement around them.

Kelly burst into tears before hitting his shoulder.

"You'll just run back like you always do!"

"Kelly stop it!"

"What afraid someone might hear?"

"Kelly, I've been trying to tell you I've been unhappy…please…"

"Oh fuck off!"

Kelly then spun around before running away, tears running down her face before she disappeared. Pam meanwhile sat there stunned, her mouth hanging open slightly after seeing such an embarrassing scene play out. Looking at Ryan she squinted and saw him snap his eyes shut still holding his hand and swear under his breath.

Slowly getting up, she walked over.

"Ryan?"

Ryan looked over and some color flushed in his cheeks.

"Pam…"

She stepped forward.

"Is everything all right?"

Ryan looked around before sighing.

"Did you hear all of that?"

Pam shrugged.

"You and Kelly have a fight?"

"We broke up."

"What?"

Ryan slowly nodded before Pam began coming closer, Ryan then held his hand up.

"Don't walk any closer, there's glass!"

Pam looked down and saw all the glittering pieces laying around on the pavement and that she still had her heels in her hand. Looking up, she saw blood begin to dribble in-between Ryan's fingers.

"Ryan! You're bleeding!"

Ryan looked at his hand and quickly cupped it.

"Yeah, Kelly threw a champaign glass at me…guess she got me."

Pam quickly balanced and slipped her heels on one by one before walking over, she heard some of the glass crunch as she walked.

"Let me see it…"

Ryan tried to keep his hand close to him.

"It's nothing really…"

Pam gently took his wrist and turned over his hand before seeing a few chunks of glass sticking out from Ryan's bleeding palm.

"That's bad, let's get inside…"

"No, it's okay. I was heading home anyways I'll clean it then…oh shit!"

"What?"

"Kelly drove us…"

"It's okay I'll give you a lift."

"No, that's okay I'll see if Toby or…"

"Ryan, it's really okay, I wanted to get out of here anyways."

Ryan raised an eyebrow.

"Not having fun?"

Pam sighed.

"No, not really…"

"Guess this really isn't our night huh?"

Pam smirked a little, something she didn't think she would do all night.

"Yeah I guess not…"

"It's okay though, I'll get blood in your car…I'll just…"

"Wait, I have some tissues on my clutch come on."

Ryan followed her away from the broken glass and over to the bench where she left her clutch. Snapping it open she took her car keys out and tissues before taking his hand again. Gently she put it around his hand.

"We might need to go to the hospital, those look deep…"

"Naw, it's nothing…"

"Still…mind if we stop by my place first, I have a first aid kit and it should really be cleaned out."

"Pam you don't have to do that, it's late."

"No trust me…I want to keep my mind of things…okay?"

Ryan's beautiful blue eyes met hers and for a split second Pam felt the strangest fluttering return in her stomach, something she didn't expect at all.

"Okay."

He smiled at her. Smiling back, Pam lead him to her car. Unlocking it she opened his door first.

"Thanks…"

Shutting the door, she went around and got in herself. Staring the engine she took a second to let it warm up.

"Smells good in here."

"Huh?"

"You're air fresher, what is it?"

Pam quickly smiled.

"Oh it's cookies…"

Smiling, she put the car in drive and began to head out of the parking-lot. Unaware of her, Jim and Karen were on the front steps sharing a drink. Watching the blue car drive by Karen smiled and tugged on Jim's arm.

"Looks like Ryan and Pam are going home together…interesting…"

Jim couldn't believe his eyes as he watched the car disappear out of sight.

_**Later…**_

"Hope you don't mind if I use these…"

Pam came into her tiny kitchen with a first-aid kit under one arm and a bag of ice in the other. Ryan meanwhile was sitting down, his jacket draped over the back of his chair.

"Use what?"

"My tweezers, I cleaned them of course."

Ryan smiled.

"What planning on plucking my bushy eyebrows while you're at it?"

Pam laughed before setting everything down and un-clicking the plastic case. Taking the bandages and bottles out, she hummed softly under her breath. Unaware that Ryan was watching and smiling.

"You have a nice place…are those some of your paintings?"

Pam looked up and saw that Ryan was looking at the three small paintings she had done last summer which now hung near the window. They were just different fruits she had done using water colors.

"Yeah, just something I was playing around with.

"Their good."

Pam looked at Ryan and that same feeling returned.

"Thanks…"

Gently her fingers made him open his hand. The cuts weren't bleeding as much but she knew she needed to get those tiny chunks of glass out.

"Okay, you ready?"

Ryan nodded as Pam took the tweezers and went to work, taking the first piece out she saw Ryan very softly bite down on his lip before she tossed the bloody piece of glass into the bowl she had set down earlier.

"You okay?"

Ryan nodded as Pam went to work again.

"So, what made you break up with her…if you don't mind me asking?"

Ryan looked at her.

"Where do I even start?"

Pam smiled as Ryan went on.

"I don't know…when I started here I was thinking it was just going to be an easy gig for a year…I was just being an idiot and having fun and everything with Kelly happened really fast. I mean yeah I'm going to business school and I love it, but now that I'm promoted I really don't know how long I'll be staying here. Kelly wasn't the person I thought she was and I wasn't being fair to her…I was unhappy."

"How do you think Monday is going to go?"

Ryan shrugged.

"I honestly don't care…she can call me every name in the book but I've just had enough."

"Yeah I know what you mean…"

Ryan cocked his head slightly to the side.

"You do?"

Pam looked up as she got the second piece out, surprised Ryan hadn't flinched this time.

"Well, it's just been a rough year, between calling the wedding off with Roy and everything…"

"And Jim leaving…"

Pam looked up.

"What?"

"Jim, you two were close…the merger and everything must have driven you a little crazy. I know it did it for me."

Pam faintly smiled.

"Yeah…I guess so."

"So how are you now?"

"Me?"

"Yeah."

Pam took the last piece out and began to unscrew the cap to the clear bottle beside her.

"You know…that's the first time in a very long time anyone has asked me that."

Ryan smiled before Pam sighed and took a second to think.

"I'm happier than before but not by much…I guess things didn't turn out exactly how I thought they would."

Ryan locked eyes with her and suddenly Pam felt the fluttering happen worse than ever. Her hands suddenly felt numb and she couldn't seem to get the cap off this bottle.

"Ryan?"

"Yeah?"

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

Ryan sat back for a second and looked at his cut hand.

"I better go, thanks Pam…"

Before he could even lift himself up from his seat Pam grabbed him by his shoulders and strongly kissed him, completely catching him off guard.

_**Later…**_

"Well that was interesting…"

Ryan and Pam both laid side by side in Pam's unmade bed. Pam's dress had been thrown to the ground and she laid there only in her black lace bra. Ryan meanwhile laid in his boxers that he had just put back on and sat there with claw marks on his shoulders and his hair a complete mess.

It seemed to be a million degrees in there.

Pam, still trying to get her breathing under control laid there before sitting up, her beautiful red hair falling to her shoulders.

"I've never done anything like this before…"

"Me either…"

Pam looked over at him and couldn't believe what they had been doing for the past half an hour. She clearly remembered being pushed down on her bed, both in a frantic hurry to undress and how right before it happened, in-between all the heavy petting and kissing she had looked into his eyes. She remembered how she had began to gasp when he entered her and how he had gently covered her mouth with his and slowly she felt herself begin to slip away.

She remembered how different it all felt.

Ryan sat up as well and rubbed the back of his neck before clearing his throat and looking at her.

"Listen, I didn't do this to get back at Kelly or anything I just…"

"If I remember clearly you didn't do anything, I was the one who took advantage."

Ryan laughed, a little embarrassed before looking around the dark bedroom.

"So what now?"

Pam honestly couldn't think. For the first time ever she had done something wild without thinking…and it felt good. Looking at him, she reached over and cupped his smooth face before kissing his cheek.

"I say, we wrap that hand up of yours…and come back here so you can do me again…how does that sound?"

Ryan grinned.

_**Present**_

Right before Ryan really did get upset Sally, the preschool director came through the doors that lead upstairs.

"All right, I'm here…sorry for the wait."

Ryan walked straight up to her.

"I want to see my son."

Sally eyed Pam for a second and Pam felt sorry. Sally had been very helpful to her every since she enrolled Teagan into this program and was always a comfort to her whenever they spoke on the phone or in person. Seeing Ryan like this put her stomach in knots.

But Sally kept her cool.

"Of course, he's right upstairs…"

"Is he okay?"

"Of course he is, we put some ice on his head and he seemed a little fussy but she's settling down."

"How did he bump his head?"

"Mr. Howard if we go upstairs to my office…"

"HOW DID HE BUMP HIS HEAD?"

Sally cleared her throat before Pam nervously stared at the floor. She understood Ryan was worried, he had every right to be…Teagan was his whole world. Before anyone could say anything, Ryan pushed past Sally and rushed down the hall. Pam stood there for a second, not exactly knowing what to say. Instead she took a deep breath and silently followed Ryan.

Walking in the next room, she saw Ryan pacing back and forth with Teagan in his arms. One of Sally's councilors sat down watching him. Ryan held onto Teagan tight, kissing the top of the baby's head and softly cooing him.

Sighing, she honestly knew if anything happened to the baby…Ryan would lose his mind.


	2. Chapter 2

_**February 2007**_

Pam couldn't honestly believe how amazing she felt at that exact moment. Laying beneath Ryan, her back began to arch and the most overwhelming orgasm took over. Her mouth opening, she cried out before digging her nails into his bag and letting her eyes roll back into her head. Ryan's weight pressed her down against the mattress before lifting his head and smiling down at her. Pam was completely losing control, the orgasm didn't seem to ever want to stop as she sunk herself down against the sheets and felt him move against her causing her to scream out in complete and utter pleasure. Ryan dully thrusted into her before slowing. Pam opened her eyes and stared up at him and was completely terrified at what she saw.

Ryan and her had sex earlier that evening, it was a spur of the moment thing that resulted in them stumbling backwards into her bedroom kissing like complete mad men. Pam just wanted to forget all her worries and Ryan just happened to be there. She forgot herself and within minutes they were undressed and becoming frantic as they fell back on her unmade bed.

Now that everything had a chance to set in, and Pam truly now knew what she was doing, she was allowing herself to truly see what was happening. Ryan was her co-worker, he had started off as a temp now had taken Jim's position and sat just a few feet away. Ryan had been working with her for only a little over three year and she still barley knew nothing about him. He was just a cute guy who sadly happened to become involved with Kelly. Ever since Jim had left and Ryan had taken his spot, she couldn't help but keep looking up, still finding herself surprised that her friend was no longer there. Her friend who had put everything on the line and had gotten rejected. The friend who for a while she had honestly begun to wonder if she had made the biggest mistake of her entire life. But with time, everything healed. Pam was now at a very strange point in her life…and Ryan just happened to be there.

He had been amazing in bed, Pam couldn't lie about that. Having only been with six men in her life, Ryan had a nice change of pace. Ryan was exciting, and almost as overwhelmed as she was. Now as she laid underneath him, beginning to have yet another orgasm, something she never honestly truly experienced with Roy…she saw he was a lot like her. Both were confused and kind of stuck in each other's lives. They needed something to distract them, and this was it.

Pam laid there, her legs slowly wrapping around Ryan's body before his hands went over and began to softly cup her breasts. Laying there, she allowed him to kiss her throat before entering her and making her hips move before slowing again. Their bodies moved again, rubbing together before she began to bit down on her bottom lip.

Staring up at him, she caught his beautiful blue eyes and finally got the chance to look at him up close.

He was perfect.

His lips were full, and continued to kiss her skin as he moved inside of her.

His skin was flawless and creamy colored, his hair hanging slightly in his face, a beautiful mix between dark brown and jet black. And finally those eyes…

The sensation of feeling as if there were pins and needles began to settle upon her. Opening her mouth she gasped before she clung onto him for dear life. Ryan kissed her tenderly before thrusting once, twice, and stiffening.

Pam couldn't believe they were going to come together, holding onto him she reached up and gently cupped the sides of his face. She wanted to look at him. At that exact moment she felt her body arch as she uttered a soft cry. Ryan stared down at her before snapping his eyes shut and moaning loudly.

She felt him finish, and it was one of the most amazing feelings in the entire world.

Ryan collapsed on top of her, trying his hardest to catch his breath as he laid down, resting his head on her breasts. Pam laid underneath him, her legs open on each side of him and feeling as if it was a million degrees in her bedroom. Her hair plastered against her pillow, she took a second before laughing. Ryan lifted his head and looked at her.

"What is it?"

Pam couldn't help her giggles, for the second time in less than an hour she had slept with her co-worker who she barely knew. Her life was one big mess, and here she was, laying there in her bedroom with him still inside of her. Smiling, she laid her head back.

"I feel for the first time ever…happy."

Ryan grinned at this before leaning over and kissing her lips.

"Weird isn't it?"

Pam smiled before kissing back.

"Wanna do it again?"

Ryan looked at her as if she were crazy.

_**Present**_

Pam nervously drove while Ryan sat in the passenger seat holding Teagan and gently stroking his hair. Glancing over, Pam saw Ryan holding the baby who had fallen asleep in his arms. Sighing, she shook her head.

"You can't talk to people like that Ryan, those are good people who have been looking after Teagan."

Ryan glared at her.

"Good people? Their idiots."

"Don't you think that's a little harsh?"

"Not when it comes to my son."

"You shouldn't have yelled though…their women, nice women who have been helpful to me. Teagan wasn't hurt, he's fine…you need to start learning that kids get hurt, it's part of being one. He isn't made out of glass."

"He's a baby Pam. Jesus…"

Pam looked over.

"Ryan, nothing is going to happen to him…you need to stop."

Ryan sighed deeply before kissing the top of Teagan's head. The baby stirred for a second before going back to sleep.

"I want you to go back to New York."

"What?"

Ryan nodded.

"Enough is enough, all this traveling back and forth is getting out of hand. I'll talk to David Wallace and I'll try to cut down my time here. Maybe Michael can stop being a complete jackass and I can stick around the city more."

"Ryan you don't have to…"

"No, we'll find a better daycare for Teagan and I'll stay home with you more often…"

"Ryan, I knew what I was getting into the second you asked me to marry you. I like our life, you shouldn't have to change it."

"You're my wife Pam, and Teagan's our baby…I promised you I would do anything to make this work, and right now this isn't working."

"Ryan, accidents happen. How are you going to feel when he goes off to school? Goes and gets his license, is off partying at college?"

Ryan stared at Pam a little annoyed.

"Pam, Teagan is special…he's our son and I think it's my job to worry about him."

"But you have so much stress in your life all ready. This has been so much lately, the last year seems like a complete blur, between Teagan being born, the promotion, the move…I just don't want you to regret us."

"I never would."

"I know that, and I know how hard you worked for this…it's just, this has been so much…"

"Pam, once you and Teagan are finally settled in the city for good think what you can do? We can afford for you to finally go to that art school you've been looking at."

Pam sighed; she knew that deep down Ryan honestly just wanted her to be happy. She knew he loved her with all his heart and she understood that trying to keep everything afloat and work while juggling this crazy lifestyle had become his number one goal. Pam couldn't believe how lucky she was, yet felt as if things honestly had moved far too fast for her. Scranton had been her home for so long, so hadn't Dunder Mifflin. Now the thought of honestly leaving it all behind scared her.

"That sounds great, but is that really where you want to raise Teagan?"

"Pam, like I said before, New York is one of the best places in the world to raise a child. We can send him to the best schools, have him enrolled in that private Elwood place I've been looking at, have him grow up with sense of culture. Trust me he isn't going to get it here in Scranton where Dwight's farm is only a few miles away."

Pam smirked, still thinking.

"What if David Wallace won't let you stay mainly in New York."

"He will, I'll work something out. Like I said, the Scranton branch is either going to sink or swim. My job is in the city, where you guys are, besides we can always visit our parents whenever we want…I just think it's time to move on."

Just then Teagan opened his big blue eyes, reaching out he put his arms around Ryan's neck and laid his head on his chest, a tiny bit of drool coming off into Ryan's silk tie. Pam glanced over and smiled. She really honestly just wanted to do what was best for the baby, but at this exact moment she wasn't sure about anything.

"When will you talk to David?"

"This weekend when we go back, just another day in this hell hole and then I'll start to figure stuff out."

"Can I come to the office with you tomorrow?"

"Pam…"

"Please, I'll bring the baby for a few hours. I know this might sound crazy but those people are my friends. If I won't really see them anymore I want to at least say goodbye."

"Nothing is set in stone, and it's not goodbye forever. I don't want those morons thinking the reason you're not coming around is because of some shitty daycare. It's going to be our choice. You're doing something most of them never will have the guts to do…and that's to move on and start living your life."

Pam glanced over.

"Ryan, if we're going to do this I want you with me, you're my husband and I love you. I don't want to do this alone."

Ryan reached over and gently began to rub her earlobe.

"I promise you Pam, you'll never be alone."

Smiling, Pam silently nodded and continued driving. She just wanted to get to her parent's house and give Teagan a bath. She was exhausted and needed time to think. Maybe Ryan was right…maybe she was stalling and refusing to truly let go of her past.

_**February 2007**_

Pam woke up a little after nine by the feeling of an arm laying across her chest. Taking a second and blinking the sleep out of her eyes, she stared up at her ceiling as sunlight poured in through her curtains. For a brief moment she honestly didn't know where she was until she glanced over and saw Ryan laying beside her. Reality setting in, a million feelings and emotions came crashing down around her as she stared at him.

He was laying beside her, his eyes open and smiling, one arm draped across her chest.

She had slept with Ryan.

Her thoughts went back to last night and suddenly her stomach twisted in knots. She usually wasn't like this, now laying beside her was her co-worker who she barely knew, nor expected to ever find in this position.

"Hi."

He said in a dry voice.

Pam blushed.

"Hi…"

"Sorry to have been creeping."

"Huh?"

"I was watching you sleep, you're really beautiful when you're like that."

Pam couldn't believe such words were coming from his mouth. For a split second she remembered hearing Jim tell her last year that Ryan was just a young guy looking for fun, that's the whole reason Kelly and himself had been a train wreck from the start. Laying there she really hoped he wasn't feeding her lines.

"Is that what you say to all the girls?"

Ryan smiled.

"Only the pretty ones."

Pam laughed before looking over at her alarm clock, smiling she rubbed her face a little embarrassed. Ryan watched her amused before gently squeezing one of her breasts and cupping it with his hand. Raising an eyebrow, Pam slid her hand off her face and looked down at herself.

"Just what do you think you're doing?"

Ryan smiled before leaning over and kissing her lips.

Laughing through the kiss, Pam playfully tugged on his dark hair. Rolling closer, his nose tickled hers before he began slowly and passionately began to kiss her. Their mouths opening and closing, Pam felt herself get dizzy before she felt something brush up against her thigh. Smiling, she looked at him.

"What's that?"

A little color came to Ryan's face as he kissed her again, this time his hands holding onto her as his tongue slipped in and teased her. Once the kiss broke he pulled back and laughed.

"Wanna do it again?"

Pam quickly nodded, feeling like a little kid. Right away Ryan deeply kissed her before slowly disappearing underneath the sheet. Pam, feeling a little embarrassed was about to say something when she gasped. Taking a second, she gripped the pillow and tried to focus on breathing. Suddenly her eyes snapped shut and she tried her hardest to just breath…

_**Later…**_

Pam was sitting up against the headboard, her arms over her head as Ryan knelt in-between her legs. Holding onto her sides, he thrusted away, causing the entire bed to creak. Pam arched her back, panting as he drove himself into her over and over again in a steady rhythm. His face flushed, he grabbed her hair and kissed her as he pumped away, making Pam shiver all over. Suddenly Ryan looked in her eyes and began to tease her as his thrusts were more drawn out and far apart. Pam felt herself getting close and dug her nails into his shoulders.

"Ryan, don't stop…don't…"

She gasped, suddenly everything tightened as she clutched onto him and began to cry out as loud as she could. Her eyes rolling back she let herself orgasm as he continued to go into her. A few minutes later, Pam had settled down and watched him as he gritted his teeth and thrusted twice more before roughly climaxing. Nearly collapsing against her chest, the two were covered in sweat, gasping for air. A minute or so passed before Pam looked down at Ryan and smiled. Softly she began to kiss his shoulder blades. Looking up, Ryan seemed exhausted.

Pam smiled.

"Come on again."

Ryan looked at her as if she was crazy.

"Pam, we've been doing this for hours, it's twelve thirty…I'm complete drained out. I don't have any fluids in me."

Pam laughed before slithering out of her arms and laying beside him. Both smiled before Pam gently began to kiss up and down his arms. Playfully, Pam bit Ryan's arm making him laugh.

"Hey!"

Pam nuzzled his chest.

"I'm sorry, just something about you I just want to eat up."

Ryan laughed, running a hand through his hair.

"Say…speaking of eating something up, want to go to breakfast with me?"

Pam laid beside him thinking before coyly smiling.

"All right, but a shower first."

Kissing his lips, Pam slid out of bed and stood up completely naked, her beautiful red hair falling to her shoulders. Smiling, she walked across her bedroom to the bathroom door before turning.

"Coming?"

Ryan laughed.

_**Later…**_

Pam and Ryan found themselves an hour later sitting in a back booth at a waffle house. It was late afternoon and barley anyone was there. Pam couldn't believe how hungry she was and inhaled her stack of mouth watering pancakes.

Ryan sat across from her eating and talking. The ride over had been nice, Ryan offered to drive and kept laughing at how weird Pam's car felt when he drove it. Pam, freshly dressed and her hair tied up in a bun kept laughing as she mocked sung along to some horrible 80's music making Ryan laugh to hard he nearly missed a stop sign.

Pam couldn't believe how comfortable she felt. She spent all of last night and a good portion of the morning having the best sex of her entire life. Now here she was sitting across from the guy who everyone nicked the temp and sat just a few feet away from her. Smiling, she noticed how nice he looked out of the office element. Dressed in his black slacks and white button up shirt from the day before, his jacket laid beside him. His hair was messy, but looked cute as he had attempted to pat it down after their shower adventure. His eyes were alert and bright, and Pam couldn't stop smiling at how full and perfect his lips were.

Both had laughed before going in on the hickeys and bite marks they had on each other's necks. Joking about feeling like a couple of teenagers before they went in. Pam couldn't help but smile when the waitress was taking them to their table, Ryan held her hand.

Now the two of them were laughing and joking about how horrible Michael had acted at the wedding the night before.

"So, how are we going to explain these tomorrow at work?"

Ryan said pointing to Pam's neck. Smiling, Pam shrugged before drinking her orange juice.

"I have great cover up, or a turtle neck."

Ryan grinned.

"I'm sure somebody saw us leave together."

"Maybe…"

"What if they did."

Pam shrugged.

"I tell them I drove you home."

Ryan nodded.

"Well…just saying, what if people begin to notice."

"Notice what?"

"How making of a couple we would make."

Pam laughed, a little confused.

"Couple?"

Ryan looked at her, right away his smile disappearing.

"Well I don't know, I mean last night was fun…trust me I needed it, but…maybe if you were interested, I don't know…maybe I could take you out to dinner tomorrow night?"

"Like a date?"

"Yeah."

"A date…a real date?"

"Yeah, could be a lot of fun."

"What about Kelly?"

Ryan rolled his eyes and shrugged.

"I'm done with that, she'll just have to understand. She wasn't what I wanted."

"And what do you want?"

Ryan nervously laughed.

"I don't know, someone who I like to be around. Someone fun, like you."

"So…wait, are you asking me out on a date?"

Ryan laughed.

"Yes, yes I am."

"Really?"

"Well yeah, it isn't a horrible idea…I mean I could see it working."

"What us going out?"

"Yeah, dating…we both like each other…"

Pam bit down on her bottom lip before playing with her fork.

"Um, I got the vibe you were just looking to have fun."

"Were you?"

"I don't know, things have been crazy lately. Last night was amazing but…I don't know, ever since I called things off with Roy…I'm not really looking for a relationship."

Ryan's face dropped before he stared down at his coffee.

"Oh…"

"I mean nothing against you. We can still go out, I mean you're awesome Ryan and I'm really glad I finally got to know that, I just don't really want to see anybody right now."

Ryan sat there in silence for a minute before lifting his eyes up.

"Hey, listen I need to get back and feed my dog…"

Ryan grabbed his wallet before Pam shook her head.

"No Ryan I got it…."

Ryan shook his head putting down the money.

"No, its fine…listen I don't live that far and I need some fresh air…I'm going to walk."

Ryan grabbed his jacket and began sliding out of the booth.

"Really?"

Ryan stood up.

"I'll see you tomorrow…"

"Ryan wait…"

Ryan ignored her, turning he quickly walked out leaving Pam sitting there alone and puzzled. Looking at her glass, Pam deeply sighed before shaking her head.

"Why am I such an idiot?"

Sighing, she looked out the window and wondered how things were going to be tomorrow…

_**Present**_

Pam and Ryan laid in Pam's old bed upstairs at her parent's house. Downstairs her parents were watching Teagan, who had drifted off after Pam fed him his dinner. Ryan had jumped in the shower, while Pam sat downstairs in the kitchen having coffee with her mother while Teagan laid in his car seat, chewing on his plastic foam rings.

Pam told her mother what Ryan wanted to do. Her mom asked her how she felt about it and Pam shrugged.

"I love him mom, so I guess maybe this won't be so bad after all. It's time to move on finally I guess…"

Smiling, her mom patted her shoulder before motioning to Teagan who wiggled his tiny feet.

"I'm sure whatever you decide, it will work out honey, trust me."

Later, Pam went upstairs after her mother insisted that she would watch the baby tonight so Ryan and her could get some sleep. The whole daycare thing had been brought up during dinner and Pam's father agreed completely with Ryan over how horrible those places were and they should sue them. Having heard enough of that, Pam looked forward to just relaxing and forgetting how horrible today was.

When she came into her bedroom Ryan was in basketball shorts and a black T-shirt. His hair was wet, and a towel was thrown over his shoulder. He was standing at the edge of the bed, digging through his suitcase for his contact stuff.

Pam shut the door behind her and smiled.

Her old bedroom had been slowly begun being turned into her mother's arts and crafts room. Boxes of her supplies was stacked up, along with things Pam never bothered to really store away. Framed on the wall were a few of Pam's paintings from high school, which now looking at, Pam remembered how badly she missed art.

"Hey you."

Ryan looked up.

"Hey, where's the baby?"

"My mom is going to watch him tonight."

"Is he okay?"

"Yeah, he's fine…how are you doing?"

Ryan sighed.

"Well, it was a stressful day to say the least, and tomorrow I need to go back to that nightmare and deal with Michael again."

Pam smiled.

"Shouldn't be too much longer, besides I'll be here with Teagan, we make you feel better right?

Ryan smiled before nodding.

"Right…listen I'm sorry again for today, just the second I got that call my heart went into my throat, I thought something had happened."

"I know, it's okay now though."

"Yeah…"

Pam walked over before sitting on the bed and looking up at him.

"I think trying to stay in the city more is going to be good for us."

Ryan raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, you think?"

Pam nodded.

"Yeah…I mean, Scranton really has been a nightmare, it's time to finally move on. Besides I want you around more…not Michael."

Smiling, Ryan winked at her.

_**Later… **_

Pam and Ryan laid there in her bed with the lights off watching late night TV. Ryan's arm was around Pam as she slowly began to doze off laying against his chest.

"Ryan?"

"Yeah?"

"You haven't been having those nightmares again have you?"

There was silence for a little while before Ryan gently kissed the top of her head.

"No…of course not."

Pam laid there, wondering if he was telling the truth.


	3. Chapter 3

_**March 2007**_

Pam nervously sat in her doctor's office waiting for Dr. Anderson to return. Two days ago she had her yearly physical done and just yesterday evening there was a voice mail asking for her to come in. There seemed to be something they found in her blood tests. Feeling slightly uneasy, she had called Michael asking for the morning off since she had to run to the doctor's.

"Didn't you just go a few days ago?"

"Yeah, I guess they lost my file, I need to run by and sign some things. I'll be in as soon as I can."

As always Michael was very understanding and once Pam hung up her phone her mind began speeding a million miles per hour. What could be so important that her doctor couldn't tell her over the phone?

The last month had been sorta stressful.

Jim was with Karen and watching them day and day out together was starting to get to her. She was glad Jim was finally happy, yet couldn't stand the fact she had honestly missed her chance. Every day seemed like the same old routine, over and over again she would wake up, get ready for work, go to work, answer phone and deal with Michael all day, watch Jim and Karen from a distance, and avoid Ryan.

They really hadn't talked since that night of Phyllis' wedding. That following Monday Pam expected the two of them to talk, but instead Ryan came in a little after eight and went straight to his desk. Not once did he look up at her. Feeling her stomach in knots, twice she wanted to instant message him asking if he wanted to talk, but each time she got the nerve to do so something came up.

Their lunch breaks were at different times, and she didn't run into him once. By the end of the day she saw it was clear he was upset, but didn't want to show it. Gathering her things up for the day, she overheard Kelly and him arguing in the hallway. Sighing, she slid on her coat and went out to find Ryan gone. Going out to the parking-lot she caught Kelly getting into her car crying.

The next couple of days she noticed he would sit away from her during the meetings, avoid eye contact, and get up to make his own copies whenever he needed to. Hating to see him like this one Friday evening she bumped into him in the break room.

"Hey."

Ryan was busy stirring his coffee when he looked up. Right away Pam was taken back by how blue his eyes looked and how freshly dressed he looked in his blue shirt and tie.

Ryan smirked looking back down.

"Hey."

Looking back and forth Pam saw this might be their only time alone.

"Hey Ryan, I know this isn't the best time to bring it up, but I just wanted to say sorry about what happened a few weeks ago. Things have felt awkward since and I just wanted to make sure everything was okay."

Ryan looked at her before faking a small smile.

"Things are fine Pam, listen I need to get back..."

Before she could say another word he pushed past her and went back out to his desk. Watching him, Pam sighed. She honestly didn't know why she was pushing him away.

Now nearly a month later she was alone at her doctor's office, chewing away at her nails and praying to God it wasn't anything serious. Finally Dr. Anderson came in and Pam's heart began racing. As always Dr. Anderson greeted her with a friendly smile and a pat on the shoulder before sitting at his desk.

"Do I have cancer?"

Pam blurted out, right away knowing how scared and childish she sounded. Dr. Anderson chuckled before shaking his head.

"Nervous wreck are we Pam?"

Pam sighed trying to find humor in this.

"Sorry, it's just when you said you found something in the blood tests I..."

"You're pregnant Pam."

Pam blinked.

"I'm...what?"

"Pregnant, after we ran your blood tests you tested positive to the pregnancy tests."

Pam suddenly felt something like a million pin pricks of blood rushing down her body. Her head pounded and for a brief second she felt dizzy as if she was dreaming.

"Pam are you all right?"

Pam took a second.

"I'm...what?"

Dr. Anderson smiled.

"Pregnant, now I would love to have you in for a ultrasound as soon as possible. Do you think you could do it today?"

Pam had to take a second to breath. The reality of it all hadn't really set in. Sitting there she couldn't believe it. She couldn't be pregnant, she was too young. Women who get pregnant were married and in love...not her. Sitting there right away it hit her.

Ryan got her pregnant the night of the wedding.

Her eyes widening, she looked up at Dr. Anderson.

_**Later... **_

"All right, just lay down real still and relax."

Pam laid on the table in a hospital gown wanting her mother more than anything at that exact moment. Trying to do as the doctor said, she took deep breaths as he gently slid something in-between her two legs. Right away Pam stiffened before she stared up at the ceiling.

"All right, just relax and let's see..."

A moment later that uncomfortable feeling dulled and the tiny screen that was wheeled over beside her lit up. Dr. Anderson squinted and waited before he smiled.

"Here we are..."

Pam hiked herself up and stared at the screen, for a second all she saw was a blurry image of nothing. Puzzled she stared at it.

"Where?"

Dr. Anderson pointed to the little fluttering blur on the screen.

"Right there, looks to be about five or so weeks...there's the heart, that little thing fluttering. Seems to be healthy and growing at perfect size..."

Pam right away burst into tears, Dr. Anderson saw this and frowned.

"I take it this wasn't planned?"

Pam began shaking her head as tears rolled down her face. What was she going to do? She worked at Dunder Mifflin in Scranton. Her job was dull and boring, she was single, and lived in a tiny apartment. Now one little fling, one little mindless fling she had with what used to be the office temp resulted in this? She honestly didn't think she could take it. Right away Dr. Anderson began rubbing her shoulder.

_**2024**_

"Teagan! Dinner!"

Pam called out from the back deck. Down in the driveway, Teagan was on his roller blades playing with his hockey stick and practicing slap shots. Right away Teagan looked up, a skater cap on his head. He wore a black hoddie and jeans, a typical teenager look for that time. Teagan had honestly become a very handsome looking man.

At seventeen he stood at nearly 5'10, which was a little taller than both of his parents. He was lanky, but had what Pam liked to think as a classically handsome adorable face. His eyes were squinty, but a very beautiful shade of dark blue eyes, that nearly looked brown. His hair was a dark shade of brown, like his father's, and a great smile.

Seven months or so ago a letter had come in to Tergan from the talent agency Pam had put him into when he was three years old from New York. After settling, and Pam became a full time mom, she had looked into maybe playing around with the idea of seeing if anyone else agreed with the fact that she thought Tegan was the cutest baby around. She had decided to enter Tegan into this small family run talent agency that a friend of hers told her about. It was just a place you had your child's head shot taken and very once in a while for magazine ads or commercials they would call up certain parents or children on the call back sheet and see if they wanted to try out.

At first BJ hated this idea, thinking it was too weird, but Pam went ahead anyways and for a brief time when Tegan was four, he was featured in some child's clothing ads in the city. Tegan seemed to enjoy it and was good as gold for the photographers, Pam kept the ads and always thought the photos turned out great and it was around three thousand that Ryan and her put away for Tega's college fund. The next year Pam decided to keep Tegan off the call back sheet since she wanted him to start preschool. Through the years a few offers came in the mail but Pam nor Tegan paid them any more attention. Just last spring a letter came from the agency asking if Teagan was available to shoot a few clothing ads for a high fashion magazine that was very big in the city.

Pam couldn't believe this offer or the fact they were offering nearly four grand for the one day of work at the studio in the city. At first Tegan wasn't all about it. He was a typical teenage boy, in high school, ready to drive and he had just started seeing this new girlfriend he seemed pretty serious with. Most of the time he was either at school. Playing hockey, or hanging out with his friends.

He thought it was lame before Pam brought up the fact he could keep all this money himself and he would have more for his college fund which was had build up pretty fast.

Ryan also said something, helping Pam when he brought up the fact of putting a little money down so he would start thinking about maybe getting a car for Tegan's next birthday.

Tegan said yes.

Pam went with him that weekend and it was a blast.

A high fashion photographer took a few ad shots of Tegan and another young model wearing a few different set of clothes for the summer line and they were finished.

They send Pam copies of the photos and a month later the latest issue of the magazine came out. Tegan had to admit most of his friends, counting his girlfriend thought it was cool and liked the idea of maybe coming closer to getting a car finally.

Pam gushed over this photos.

She send copies of the magazine to nearly every family member, and even send one to Michael who was now happy settled down with his wife Holly and a family of his own. Another offer had come in for Tegan to do another photo shoot, but he refused. He said if another letter came in that summer he would think about it, but between school and hockey he didn't have any other time. Making a few wise cracks about turning into a dumb male model, Tegan as always didn't take it seriously.

Pam like any other proud mother, thought her only child was the most beautiful person around. From the moment Tegan was born she often fussed saying that her baby was the cutest of them all. Before, she had always been a woman who kept her thoughts to herself and seemed timid and shy, instead now she didn't hide the fact she was in love with her son.

After it honestly hit her how madly in love she was with Ryan, the reality set in how much she loved her baby. From the moment he was born and placed in her arms, she had this natural instinct to love him more than anything. He was a part of her and Ryan, and she believed Ryan had given her the most handsome flawless thing in the world.

A few people had shared their amount of rolling their eyes whenever Pam busted out her photo albums of Tegan growing up, gushing over how cute he was and what a handsome young man he had grown into. While Ryan's love had always been protective, mostly since the pregnancy, Pam's was that she loved her only son and despite being a typical mother running into annoying little problems, she saw what a good kid he really was and that both Ryan and her were blessed to have such a wonderful and beautiful looking son.

She of course kept this most of the time to herself. Instead her relationship with her son was sweet and very easy going. In fact both Ryan and Pam knew they had been blessed with such a good happy go lucky kid that never caused any problems. For Tegan life never seemed to be bad. He always kept his head up high and had such a casual relationship with his parents, Pam knew the second he went off to college both Ryan and herself wouldn't know what to do.

"Coming Ma!"

He called, smiling, Pam wiped her hands on the dishcloth she held as she watched his skate over to the pile of pucks the net at the end of the driveway had collected and began to pick them up. It was a chilly fall evening and it was getting dark out. The lights outside the house glowed dimly as she watched her beautiful teenage son down below. Just then headlights shinned in the driveway and Ryan's car began pulling up. Tegan skated into the garage for a second as Pam watched Ryan's car park and the lights die. The driver's door opening, Ryan stepped out wearing a dark brown suit and holding his leather briefcase. Ryan, even at this age looked very handsome, just around his temples little signs of gray were showing. Seeing her he smiled before starting up the stairs.

"Hey babe."

"Hey, good day?"

Ryan shrugged before leaning over and kissing her cheek.

"Traffic was a bitch but what else is new."

Pam smiled.

"Dinner is ready, come on."

Both went inside the side door that connected to the deck. Inside it was much warmer and the lovely scent of spice and apples filled the air. Ryan began taking his coat off, hanging it on the hook which also had a blackboard with messages of things Pam needed to do that week.

Pam walked over to the table and began setting it.

Turning towards the counter, Pam began getting the silverware out when she heard Ryan say...

"This is new."

Pam turned and saw Ryan near the sun porch which was now closed off for the upcoming winter. Most of Tegan's hocky equipment stayed in there along with rain boots and extra winter jackets. Pam usually spent time painting or sketching in there whenever she had some free time. Just a few days ago she started a new painting that she had become petty proud of.

Smiling Pam brushed back some of her bangs.

"Yeah, just finished it."

"It's awesome."

Pam blushed.

"Thanks."

"No really it is, are you going to try and put it in your show this year?"

Pam began laying down the silverware.

"Maybe, depending on if I have enough stuff to put in the show."

Once a year since Tegan was little Pam entered a small art show in the city. It was for local artist where they would display their latest work. Most of Pam's friends went there and usually Pam would sell a few pieces.

Ryan walked back into the room, his hands stuffed into his pockets.

"I'm sure you will, that's amazing though."

Pam smiled, somehow no matter what her husband always seemed to make her feel better.

"Aw, thanks hun."

Ryan smirked before pecking her on the cheek.

At that exact moment Tegan came in, slamming the screen door.

"Hey kiddo."

Ryan said walking past him and ruffling his hair. Tegan smiled before going to the fridge and grabbing the OJ. Beginning to drink it from the carton, Pam playfully whacked his arm.

"Use a glass."

Rolling his eyes, Tegan put the carton back before Ryan took a seat at the table.

"How was practice?"

Tegan shrugged and began telling his father about his day. Pam meanwhile leaned against the counter for a second. This was a typical weekend night for the Howard's. Ryan would get out of work, they would all have dinner, then Ryan would go upstairs and work for a little bit while Tegan did his homework. Usually depending Tegan would either go over his girlfriend's house to 'study' or at least that's what he would call it, and Ryan and her would curl up on the couch together.

They lived in upstate New York in a nice neighborhood and lived simple normal life's. They were middle aged now and their seventeen year old son was their whole world. Pam still did her art, and Ryan had finally put his problems behind him and was happy at his job.

They lived in a nice normal house and all seemed very happy.

Tegan was in the middle of telling Ryan a story of how some kid on his team started a fight with one of his buddies. Ryan listened, laughing. Watching them, Pam couldn't believe how much the two of them were alike and how close they were. In fact they seemed more like best friends rather than father and son.

Leaning against the counter she thought of the email she got the other day. It was from somebody she hadn't heard from in a very long time.

Turning her attention to dinner, she began getting the plates out while her mind raced. Tuning everything else out. At that exact moment, she heard Tegan say something.

"Hum?"

Pam turned.

"Can I go over Cindy's house after dinner?"

It was a Thursday night and usually Tegan always went to his girlfriend's for a couple of hours.

"Yeah sure, as long as you got your homework done."

"Yeah no sweat, just some stupid science project due."

"Go wash up, we're eating in a second."

She watched Tegan smile and leave the room before Ryan smirked and lowered his voice.

"You think he has any idea about the car?"

Pam snapped out of her thoughts and smiled back.

"I don't think so."

The truth was, just last week both Ryan and Pam went to the dealership and bought Tegan a jeep. They decided not to wait until his birthday and surprise him. At the moment it was still waiting to be picked up. Tomorrow afternoon after school, Pam and Ryan were going to pick up Tegan from school, claiming Pam's mother was sick and they wanted to make a quick visit. The plan was they would stop by the house where the jeep would be waiting in the driveway.

Ryan seemed just as excited as a little kid.

Pam loved to see him act this way. Through all of Tegan's childhood Ryan always seemed to be an extra kick out of holidays and birthdays. There seemed to be no greater joy for him than surprising their son. A lifetime of memories came flooding back of how far out both of them would go to make Tegan's childhood special. Part of this depressed Pam, she knew her baby was growing up and once he had a car she wouldn't be seeing as much of him as she did now.

Thinking back to the summer before when Ryan was teaching him how to drive she smiled.

She hoped he would love it.

Ryan cracked a grin before Tegan came back down.

"Need help ma?"

Smiling, both Ryan and Pam exchanged a look before Pam's thoughts quickly returned back to that email. She honestly didn't know if she should tell Ryan or not.

_**March 2007**_

Pam shook her head.

"No, we shouldn't be doing this..."

Ryan unzipped his fly and began undoing his belt quickly, his hands shaking and fumbling. Both were on the second floor of the office building in one of the empty and closed off unused offices. The lights had been turned off and piles of boxes surrounded them. A few years ago this was a small print making company that quickly went out of business.

The thrill of sneaking around so close to everyone somehow made it more fun.

Pam was sitting on the edge of one of the boxes, her head spinning and her stomach in knots. Ryan meanwhile, looking very handsome in a light gray shirt, reached up and started to hike up her skirt.

It had been four days since Pam had gone to the doctor's. Today she had planned on telling Ryan the news that had caused her to have a total of ten nervous breakdowns and zero sleep. She had been a complete wreck ever since she found out and honestly didn't know what to do.

She had tried calling him what seemed like a million times before finally sending him a text this morning asking to meet him someplace alone. She had hoped he wouldn't be angry and might help her since at this exact moment she really didn't know what to do.

Both had snuck off, Pam used her lunch break while Ryan pretended to was getting something was Michael. When they first faced each other both could barley look each other in the eye. Pam felt like crying.

She was pregnant.

Pregnant by Ryan, the temp turned sales man she barley knew. Not really knowing how to say it, she nervously twisted her hands and began to say something when Ryan kissed her.

Taken aback by it, she pushed him away completely stunned. Ryan seemed embarrassed and looked away.

"I shouldn't have done that, I'm sorry..."

Wanting comfort more than anything, Pam grabbed him and started kissing him like a mad man.

Ryan's full lips kissed her up and down on her neck before she saw him adjust himself and stand near her. Taking one of her legs, he spread it out of his way and held it up against his side before reaching down and trying to position himself. Taking a deep breath, Pam held onto him before he quickly entered her.

Pam gasped.

Ryan muffled against her shoulder for a second, completely sinking himself into her. Pam stiffen before Ryan squeezed the leg he held.

Pam sat there, letting Ryan have sex with her, both in the dark cold empty office room completely alone. The feeling of him in her again seems comforting, something she ached for and missed every since that night.

Pam tilted her head back, allowing him to wrap his arms around her and move closer. Her legs hung on each sides of him as he buried his head against the side of her and roughly thrusted into her over and over again.

Cupping his face, Pam locked eyes with him and suddenly she felt safe.

Looking at him made perfect sense.

"I'm pregnant."

She said without thinking.

Right away Ryan's eyes widened before she felt him come inside her, it was messy and unexpected. Roughly pulling out of her, Ryan stood there in completely shock.

"You're what?"

Pam sat there for a second, her legs still spread and feeling like a complete whore. This wasn't exactly how she wanted to tell him.

Pam took a second before sliding off the box and pushing her skirt down and pulling up her tights. Nervously she couldn't even look at him.

"This was a mistake I shouldn't have..."

Ryan quickly zipped up his slacks and didn't bother with his belt, grabbing her by the shoulders he stared at her.

"Pam, what did you just say?"

Pam lifted her eyes, ashamed.

"I'm..."

Pam then covered her face with her hands and began to sob. This was a complete nightmare, feeling her knees buckle she fell to the floor, not able to look at him. Right away Ryan knelt down beside her, gently taking her hands away from her face.

Pam sniffled, tears rolling down her face before looking up at him.

"Pam."

Pam stared at him and a small grin came across his face, right away he took one of her hands and kissed her knuckles before squeezing them tight with his own. For some odd reason this horrible twisting overwhelming fear seemed to drift away the moment she saw him smile at her.

And so they kissed.


End file.
